We named our party play list daddy issues
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
