This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
