sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
