I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
