i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm too high and old for this...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
