Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
