I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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