What a fucking waste of an outfit
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
