Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
