that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
