I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
