So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
