just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
