Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
