i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We are two peas in an std pod
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Randomize
