I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
this boner is exhausting
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
