Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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