Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
