dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
