and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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