I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
