I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
