When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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