whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
