i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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