I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
