32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the condom got lost in my hair
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
