No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
