I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
