I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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