paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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