I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
