Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
