Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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