Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
