Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
