I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
