But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
this hospital has no fireball
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
