i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
