did you get engaged???
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
