Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
