And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
