no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
