And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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