First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
