I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just found puke in my bra..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
