But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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