And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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