nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
