are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
